Family Values

It is so interesting when asking someone about their family and what makes them who they are. Family is a dominant determinant of who we become. Our role in our own families often play into who we are outside of that unit. The first born that is a girl and helps mom with the other kids learns organization and leadership and outside the family she may want to play that same role. This can be a good thing when it is needed but can cause frustration, for both parties, when it isn't needed in a certain situation. We are results of our upbringing. This also translates to the classes and status that a family may or may not hold. We are taught values that are either acceptable by society or not. We have chances to become more accepted than  than our families were or are but that doesn't mean that our interpretations of others has changed as well. What are the values that our families have taught? Was is hard-work? was it the importance of material things? Was it the importance of education? Was it humor? Joy? Love? Service?

I know that my family view is unique; my brothers and sister may have similar views of what was taught but I think that the experience that I had with the Bleazard's is specific to the youngest child. I think that my family taught maturity, self-confidence, independence, hard-work, and love. I was always good enough and was always loved despite the failures that I experienced. I was never a disappointment to my parents and I believe that the standards have been set by me to become my best. I have potential and that is what has set the bar. My parents always have expected greatness from me, not because of the way we would look to others, but because they know my potential. I know because of my parents that I can only obtain greatness and excellence through hard work. I know that others respect is earned by showing confidence and maturity, not by showing off or bragging. I have been taught to love others and show them respect whether it hard or easy.
What does this mean?
I am who I am because of my upbringing. The values that I hold in my heart and are apart of me are from my parents and ancestors. My family is unique and others are just as special. Do we see all other families as special? I am not going to lie, I don't. I classify my family high above many others. That isn't christ-like though. I need to find goodness in all families and recognize that my family is flawed. We tendencies that aren't supportive to the progression towards heaven. Possibly humility. :-)

Is everything an Exchange?

One Family Theory is the Exchange theory. This refers to the tendency for people to do things so they get things. Instead of selfless acts, theorists classify behavior by asking the question, "what did that person think they were going to get out of it?" This makes loads of sense to me because I have found myself doing just that. While I thought more, I began to realize that I don't like that about myself. I shouldn't do things because I have a selfish motive behind them. I should doing things for the right reason... but then I realized that by doing things for the right reason I am still getting something I want out of it and that is self-satisfaction. Knowing that I am doing good things and that the Lord is pleased with what I am doing is a reward in a sense, I am getting positive feedback. So then I thought, Is anything truly selfless? what about The Savior? He was a selfless man. He died on the cross because that was his mission and because he loved us. It is said that the Atonement is the most selfless act ever made but did Christ get something he wanted? I would say yes. The Savior wanted us to live with our Father in Heaven again. His desires were righteous and I don't want anyone to think that I am discrediting the Savior and His intentions because he was perfect and full of integrity. But I am asking if Jesus received positive feedback for the action of the atonement and did he know that those would be the consequences.  I would venture to say yes. Jesus knew all and had a perfect knowledge just as His Father did. They were one in desire and because of that Jesus understood the positive consequences that the atonement had. Christ could receive that positive feedback of completing the plan and allowing his brothers and sisters to gain eternal life. So is everything an exchange? yeah. 

Another part of the exchange theory is that when we don't receive want we want from another person we stop our exchange with them. I am afraid that this week I am guilty of this. One of my good friends has started to not pay attention to my feelings and seems to not care when I say something. When I started getting annoyed, I began to act just as she did which in return has most likely elevated the lower levels of "exchange". Our relationship has entered a circular causality where our actions are feeding the action that neither of us want. So starting today, I am going to start exchanging again as normal and see what happens. I would hate to see our friendship end because I didn't do anything while I fully understood what was happening. This will be a fun experiment. :) We will see how she responds to the exchange as well.