This week has been jam packed with good feelings. I know that my Savior and Heavenly Father love me and they provide me with blessings because of their love and my obedience to the commandments. This relationship that I have with my Father in heaven is the most precious relationship I have or will have in my life. I know that my parents have helped me develop my trust and obedience to the Godhead by teaching me the basic principles of the gospel and by being examples of dedication. They loved me and provided for and taught me how to provide for myself in difficult times.
My parents loved me and that blessing has impacted my life in ways that I do not understand. As I wrote a paper on fatherhood, I was blown away by the statistics of negative effects. I know that my relationship with God and self-confidence is a direct result from the love that my dad provided in our home to each of the kids and to my mother.
We talked about the effects of a working mom on the development of a child. My mom began working my 6th grade year and I feel like I did okay. I think it would kill my mom to know that as I look back, I wish I would have had a stay at home mom. I remember me and my parents talking about her going to work and I was excited for her. I was glad that she had the awesome opportunity to go to work. I think that I was negatively affected despite my anxious attitude about the situation. I know that our relationship was affected because I didn't want to bother her after a long day at work with my insignificant day. She did everything right and I blame her for none of my choices. She was always asking and always involved but I wonder if things would have been different if she had been in the home.
I know that I will want to be in the home as I raise my children. This is a huge step for me. I have always wanted a career and have always thought that I wanted to work part time while I had kids in school. I wanted to be the super mom that could give 100% to work and excel in being a dedicated mom, wife, sister and daughter. I don't think that it is possible to give 100% work and 100% at home. The numbers don't figure.  The greatest responsibility that God will ever give me is to teach and raise his spirit children and that is where I want to put in my 100%. I was raised in the gospel and taught by wonderful, faithful parents and I would like to do the same and dare I say better.

Family Prayer

I am currently taking a Doctrines of the Gospel class and we talked about the importance of family this week. Heber J. Grant said, "I am convinced that one of the greatest things that can come into any home to cause the boys and girls in that home to grow up in a love of God, and in a love of the gospel of Jesus Christ, is to have family prayer... that they may partake of the spirit of prayer, and be in harmony, be in tune, to have the radio, so to speak, in communication with the spirit of the Lord."This quote helped me to connect the discussion I had about counsels in my family relations class. We discussed how the quorum of the 12 and the first presidency conduct their weekly meetings. First is to note that they have them weekly, on a regular basis, to show the show the lord their submission to Him in all things. Second they hold the counsel in a sacred place, the temple. They begin by telling each other how much they love and appreciate each other. How great is that?! I think that each of us can help the spirit accompany us throughout our days more by telling others how much they mean to us, especially in a family. the second thing they do is open with a prayer. Then they discuss openly with the same goal in mind, to obtain the Lord's will and the truths the Lord would have them know. Because the goal is the same, the spirit can direct them and take perceptions and help make ideas and opinions parallel. Then they pray to close the meeting and then eat chocolate or pie together. All these things help unite each of them and increase the love they feel. Even eating pie helps them to bond. However, only one of the things that they do happens twice and that is prayer. By praying, they invite the spirit and ask for guidance.
So my question is what is it about prayer that gives a uniting factor to the mix? I know that when I have known the Lord's will for me and followed that revelation, I have never felt so confident in my pursuits and with myself. Knowing that my Heavenly Father is pleased with me and the paths that I have taken helps me to feel loved. It is also so much easier to love others because of the confidence that I have been given. My unity with the Godhead is increased by my obedience to follow the personal revelation that I receive (as well as revealed commandments to the prophets). Imagine the increase of family unity when prayer is happening on a consistent basis and in a sacred place (our homes). Prayer can bring unity with the savior and each other when children understand where the revelation and blessings are coming from. I am so grateful that I was able to find these connections because of the increased testimony I have of prayer.

Responses Matter

This week in my family relations class we have talked about family crisis and the kinds that can effect a family. Looking into my own life, I have discovered the love of Christ for my family. I have a new gratitude for my parents and the way they show us to deal with things by their example. Internal and external problems can occur and depending upon how you react can have very real consequences. In the church, we are told to look to Christ for comfort in times of crisis, at least I have. What brilliant advice because by doing so I think we are simultaneously loving our family and bringing them closer rather than isolating ourselves. I am thankful that my parents are great examples of that.
Depending on the response that we give to crisis can either reduce trauma or increase it tremendously. For instance, When a child falls down and look around to see others reactions they either see whether its all okay or not. If they see that people are concerned and fearful then they will cry. However, when there is faith instead of fear there are no tears and they continue playing. While this analogy may be flawed it is a true reality that we often react in accordance with others (often leaders) reactions. If my dad can't hold it together after his mom passes away then I know that it isn't okay and things wont be the same now. Even though I have a testimony of the atonement and plan of salvation, my day to day life may have a new sense of fear. When we realize that others attitudes effect our reactions we can choose to move in a new direction, possibly a different one.
After this chapter I have come to realize that my parents have made a great example for reactions to death. We move on and move closer together as a family. I am grateful that there is sympathy and reverence for the past family members but a knowledge that they are the past. I love knowing that people who have past on can still be with us but also that our lives do not need to live where their earthy lives have ended. We need to move to the next chapters of our lives and we cannot do that if we keep rereading the past chapters.